It's not what you call me, but what I answer to.

It seems to surprise me now like a blast of rain on a sunny day, how the girlfriends you always thought would simply be there are complicatedly not. Hearing the lyrics "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends, Make it last forever friendship never ends" is now a cruel joke or a jab of the elbow to the unsuspecting bruise instead of the melodic hug that seemed to exist between friends. In a world where independence is so widely exonerated, one would think there would be some sort of effect! had on the general female population. But, maybe I live in the wrong state. Why is it that I seem to be at such a disadvantage when it comes to understanding the dependence of a woman to a man? Maybe it is through the years of analyzing and decrypting the sorted messages and problems of all my friends and their relationship hang ups -does he like me, why doesn't he want to spend time with me, where is he, when he makes me feel this way, what does this that and every other signal he's sending me mean- that I am already exhausted from the ups and downs of relationship foreplay and therefore have no desire for any sex of my own. Is this prediction even logical? If it is logical, then is it general? Are there more bewildered and independent women out there who have lost all of their female companionship due to their friends primal need to be doted on and petted by a male partner? *All of you know who you are.* You're the friend that can't go out to a luncheon because, even though you have no time to hang out because you have a paper due in 3 days, you've planned a week ahead to spend that time with your boyfriend. So it's your boyfriend who is throwing a party with his friends. However, you also have neglected to invite your friend because guess what, she doesn't fit into that realm of new friends you've created with your boyfriend so it's a mute subject. And then there's you. You're the girl who a true friend could never be mad at because you're so incredibly needy and have no confidence or strength of your own to speak of; none of which is your fault entirely. You're the girl who has surgically attached the boyfriend to your hip. You stay at home waiting on him even when he won't return your calls or wouldn't wait an hour for you. So even though your friends have been waiting forever on you, you wait on him instead of going out and giving your friendships half that devotion. Thirdly, there is the friend that is just in such desperate need that she will take any attention she can get from any unworthy loser off the street without a good job. It's alright I understand. You would rather pay for both you and your boyfriends meals, movie tickets and clothes than spend an evening with your friend sharing in the cost of at least two out of three. What is wrong with you women? No, I do not understand. Furthermore, I pray that I am never so far into a codependent relationship to where I am able to understand such mindless meandering.